Welcome  ChixxChat

In reading my devotional this morning I was in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. In these scriptures it tells us the definition of Love. It informs us that love is patient, its kind, it's not jealous or boastful, or proud or rude, it doesn't demand its own way, it's not irritable, it doesn't rejoice over injustice. It never gives up or loses its faith, it's always hopeful and it endures through ALL circumstances. But the thing about love that hit me different this morning was when it said it doesn't keep record of "wrong doings". So I said what does that mean? I know how to forgive and move on and but I didn't realize when we do/say things like "I forgive you but I'll never forget, or I forgave them but I still remember, or I know we got past this, but it reminds me or makes me think about the last time....." this is actually how we are trapping ourselves in to mentally keeping record of wrong doings. Yep who would've thought...?

Now before you get riled up yes in order to learn some lessons and not have to repeat them you have to remember what happened to you or what you went through so that you can either handle it better the next time or prayerfully avoid it happening again altogether if it was bad and you don't want a repeat of it. But, there is a difference with becoming bitter and letting your guards up because something happened to you versus learning the lesson from what happened yet being at peace when you move on. If you hold on to things that happened to you in the past be it from an intimate relationship, a friendship, an argument, bad customer service experience, etc.... you are unconsciously continuing to give that thing power to matter which is then YOU adding stress to your own self. Instead try to really isolate each situation as what it is "A" meaning one situation, deal with it and peacefully move on so that the next time it won't be a level 10 on something that should be a level 2 because we're remembering. Even if it comes up (because this will take some practice) try and say to yourself “this won't be like that last time, or I'm not even going to allow it to get to me like I did before because I think different now, I'm stronger now, I'm more mature now and therefore if not them I know the outcome will be different because of me." Just think about it if your spouse betrayed you and you decided to forgive and stay together how healthy is it to stress every time they walk out of the house without you or their phone rings or pings from a text message. That in itself will cause you to stress and continue to bring division in your household because YOU are already presuming what's going on and what's happening or going to happen instead of when they leave and those thoughts come up you make a conscious effort to say "I'm not worried because we've talked about it we understand each other needs/wants differently now and I TRUST that they love me enough to not put me through that again." What if it was an argument with a friend that crushed you but ya'll talked about and got past it but the next time a similar situation comes up instead of saying "here we go again, you say the last time this happened we talked about it and I understand that the way they think is this way so let me put myself in their shoes and try to understand the direction they are actually coming from so it won't blow up like last time but be a healthy dialogue." Even with customer service (and I used to be notorious for this, and I'm still working on it...lol) you go somewhere and order and that person is straight rude, no smile attitude just shot and that makes your experience horrible to a point where you say they will never get my money again or I'm never going back to that location. Who actually suffers? When you think about it the food may have been delicious and the location may be so convenient. Do you deprive yourself from the enjoyment of that meal you like or spend more in gas traveling to another location 15-20mins away to avoid that one? No you tell yourself "you know what if I go back I'll just ask for a different server or better yet smile first and be pleasant and prayerfully that will be contagious and maybe that server will feed off of your positive energy!"

When we really think about it "Spiritually Forgetting" is really not that hard. It's an open example of Godly love and it holds us personally accountable to take action for ourselves instead of allowing us to hold others accountable for how we are. Why give our power to others when we can maintain it and become a better "us."

 

Thank you so much for your response! I wouldn't necessarily say it's a mind thing more than an emotional thing. Once you get delivered or let go of a situation meaning you no longer give it power over you to control your reactions, then when something similiar comes up yes I believe it will be easier to get through it a lot quicker. The mind is a little different because if you actually learn a lesson you don't tend to forget it. Even if you put it in the back of your mind and don't think about it something may jog that memory and you're like ahhhhh I remember that....but if your emotions are in check, you'll do just that remember it but hopefully not respond in the same way if that reaction causes negative emotions to be redeposited. Even if it was a positive response isn't great to enjoy something all over again like it's your first time?! A different way to look at it huh.....