Welcome  ChixxChat

Do you feel like as a parent if you have raised your kids and they become famous or financially successful that they owe you? Do you feel that since you rushed off of work to take them to practices and games, or you worked extra hours so that you could afford to put them in special leagues like “AAU” and you’ve paid for special coaching sessions, or made sure they had enough money to go on all of the out of town trips with the team, sold dinners on the side so that you could afford to purchase the new uniforms each year and now that they’ve finally made it into the “Big Leagues” that it’s their turn to take care of you? Do they owe you now? Are they famous or are “ya’ll” famous? Are they wealthy or are “ya’ll” wealthy? Did they make it or did “ya’ll” make it? When does the obligation begin or end? Is that a required or expected “Pay It Forward”?

A lot of times as parents we pour so much into our children with the hopes that they be better than us. We pray for success, wealth and prosperity and good health for our children. We root for them to make it and then when they do, we have an expectation of “tag you’re it” but are they really? Isn’t it our responsibility to take care of our children and provide the best life possible? Aren’t we supposed to sacrifice to provide their needs and sometimes wants and even invest in their future? Aren’t we supposed to support their dreams and nourish their potential? Is it their fault that instead of telling them we can’t afford something we decide to sacrifice and find a way to make it happen? Is it their fault that sometimes we have them when we are not properly prepared to take care of them as easily as we would like causing us to possibly struggle at times?

The thing is as parents it is our responsibility to properly care for and nourish our kids. It is our responsibility to support and provide for our kids. It is our responsibility to mold them into successful adults and good productive citizens. It is our responsibility to educate them and show them how to go after their dreams. So why is it that when they become adults if they make it into the “Big Leagues” whether it’s sports, music, acting, entrepreneurialship (if that’s even a word…lol), etc…. that we expect to stop working and stop taking care of ourselves because we feel like now that they can afford it, they must take care of us? We feel like they are obligated to share the wealth. What happens when they become successful adults but not necessarily wealthy or famous, do we have expectations of them then? Do we expect them to take care of us and provide for us then? Why is it that expectations differ according to the amount of assets they possess?

Many times, in some “cultures/communities” we find that parents invest in their kids with the sole hope or intention of them becoming a famous athlete, or the next top model, or the next leading lady or actress, etc… but are we “intentionally” doing so because we love them and see the potential and they have shown interest in that particular thing, or are we doing so with hopes of getting a return on our investment? Are we secretly hoping that if we pay it now then they will pay it forward? I’ve even seen where some of us are not even the parent of the wealthy or famous kid we’re the “in law” and feel that because our child has acquired this “lifestyle” through marriage, that somehow, we are still entitled to even that! Is it ever right to feel like someone else’s success or fame belongs to us? If they are destined to have it or be it and follow their path will they not obtain it with or without us? If we have good intentions and really embrace our responsibilities as parents, then it doesn’t matter whether they are rich or poor and decide that what they’ve worked hard for or have acquired through marriage, inheritance, happenstance, etc.. all belongs to them because we’ve done our part, now it’s their time to do their part according to how they see fit not because they are repaying a debt that we make them feel they owe.

According to the “Good Book”, if we train up a child in the way they should go then they won’t depart from it. That means how we raise them will determine what they do when they get older. They will have a heart to reciprocate the love and sacrifice that we poured into them in ALL ways out of mere wanting to do for us what we have done for them, not out of expectation or obligation. Our responsibility and sacrifices that we make as parents should not equate as obligation to them as adults.