Welcome  ChixxChat

So many times we find ourselves in long relationships and not even realize why we’re in them. We find ourselves questioning is it worth fighting for or staying? We actually wonder why we stick or around or stuck around for so long and why in the world to we keep going back to them after something took place to say we needed to leave…..the answer is simply, it’s a Soul Tie!

Soul Ties are emotional bonds that form attachments and whether they are good or bad they are created from investing time and vulnerability. It’s like a link or force that connects two people souls together. This link isn’t always negative though, sometimes it’s beneficial. These ties can be formed biologically, physically, emotionally, spiritually and mentally.

However, Soul ties are initially a gift from God. He uses them to help us commit. They help us commit to Him and each other. The problem lies when we commit to the wrong person or thing for the wrong reason and wrong way. God wanted them for wholeness with ourselves, unity with each other and oneness with Him. Instead we have connected to the wrong people or things and become broken because every time that “wrong” situation doesn’t work it takes a piece of us with it. Instead we have held on to relationships that were only meant to be for a season, and maintained them for a couple of seasons and it destroyed the unification. Instead of focusing on remaining one with Him we allowed our flesh and temptation to entice us and therefore cause Him to turn his face from our sin and interfere with the oneness.

This is the reason why when we set standards and limits, we sometimes drop our guards and allow people to overstep the boundaries that we have set. Somewhere down the line we have formed a soul tie with them. Maybe it was something that reminded us of a happy time in our life or something they did that spoke to a need we had internally and it formed an emotional bond and that’s the thing that we are holding on too. Maybe it came in the biological form which is referred to as generational curses that we feed into when allow the cycles to continue and say things like what happens in this house stays in this house and instead getting help, speaking to someone or praying and making effort to break the cycle. We love to say “you’re just like your momma, or you remind me so much of your dad, etc….” The last three are commonly linked together because they are easily formed through sex which is a “tridimensional” experience. It’s an experience that combines the spirit, body and soul and they all are controlled by your mind. When you lay with someone you think that you are only physically giving your body to them but what you are doing is intertwining with their spirit and their soul and at that moment you are allowing your mind to take you to a place of temporary satisfaction. This is the strongest type of soul tie there is. Once you get up from that act the physical part is done but what has connected on the inside is still there. Now depending on what time is invested and how vulnerable you’ve become to this person determines the strength or weakness of the soul tie.

This is what causes us to forgive and stay when at times we should forgive and move on. This is what causes us to invest years of our life to someone when at times we should’ve left a long time ago. This is what causes us to feel stuck when in our hearts when our minds are telling us to move. This is what causes us to cry or stress over the same things over and over again when after the first time we dried our eyes we shouldn’t have held on to the tissue box for the same issue. This is what causes us to miss what God really has for us because we are holding on to what we chose ourselves. This is what causes us to bargain with the fact that we know we deserve so much more. We know we are worth the fairy tale that we’ve always dreamed of. We know there is someone that is just for us and us only but instead we settle and wait hoping things will get better. Hoping things will turn around. We tell ourselves I’ve been in this too long to walk away. I’ve put too much time in and dealt with too much to let the next person come and enjoy the fruits of my labor. We ask ourselves what if I’ve been holding on this long and when I walk away things change and I regret that I didn’t wait a little longer. We make the soul ties stronger because we don’t even realize that we are investing more time and becoming more vulnerable every-time we bargain with what we know we are worth.

Take the time to find out why God allowed you and this person to cross paths in the first place, why He allowed them to come in your life (preferably at the beginning to avoid the negative soul ties) but it’s never too late to break the soul ties even if we didn’t start off right. Stop and evaluate why you are really hanging on to your situation. Pray and ask God to show you and really listen to Him and not yourself telling you what you want to hear. There shouldn’t be a negotiation of what your worth. Your heart doesn’t belong at a swap meet or flea market or on the sales rack. It actually belongs in the section called “priceless”. You deserve the best so why are you settling?