Welcome  ChixxChat

Communication comes in many different ways. There is verbal communication, when you are actually speaking. There is non-verbal/ interpersonal communication which includes things like facial expressions, body language, etc… Then you have written communication which is communicating via texts, letters and things like emails. The fourth kind is formal & informal which is also known as “grapevine” or getting information from other sources whether it’s people or Social media. The last type of communication that you don’t hear about too often is Visual communication but that’s more like advertisements, illustrations, designs and things of that nature.

Too often we overlook certain things depending on how a message is communicated. If we get a text message, email, letter, or grapevine style communication we tend to hear it in our tone or a tone we have attached to the message that may not necessarily be the tone that the message was given. When we get a message via body language, or eye contact we tend to interpret the message according to what we think the message is saying without actually hearing what’s being said behind those expressions. The thing is, does the way the message is given or perceived change or determine the meaning or the original message? Does this effect how you receive the message? The answer is yes! If you get a ring that’s in a velvet box but in a Wal-mart gift bag and it’s sitting on your table waiting for you is that ring then a promise or friendship ring, or just a nice piece of jewelry? If that same exact ring was not in a gift bag but just in its velvet box sitting on the table open and waiting for you does it now become an engagement ring? The same thing just relayed in different ways can create a totally different meaning.

When it comes to flirting if a woman looks at you and smile, then give you a little wave with no words is she considered flirting or sending you a message that she’s just being courteous and saying “hello” without saying it? If that same woman looks at you and smile but as she waves she actually say’s “hello” with no type of inflection in her voice is she still considered as flirting or is she now just being courteous and saying “hello”. If a man looks at you and smile while saying “hey beautiful good morning”, is he flirting with you? If that same man looks at you and smile while saying “hey beautiful good morning” as he continues to walk, is he still flirting or just simply saying “good morning”?

Does the definition of flirting change when you are in a relationship versus if you are single, or is it your expectations that change? The longer you are in a relationship one would assume the more involved your feelings are with your companion, which typically changes your expectations of each other. Your expectations may change but the definition of flirting remains the same which according to the dictionary,"flirting is behaving as though you are attracted to or trying to attract someone". So if this is the real definition, the question is when does flirting become cheating? In speaking with some men and women as usual it seems we have a difference of opinions. A single woman responded that if you are continuously flirting with the same person then it becomes cheating in her eyes because you are trying to build something more at that point. She continued on to say, that she feels any type of written flirtation is definitely cheating automatically. When I spoke to a single gentleman he stated that he doesn’t consider it cheating until there is an act to the thought. He explained that flirting is a thought that something could happen but if it isn’t acted upon then he doesn’t feel he’s cheated.

Here’s the thing if flirting is to behave as though you are attracted to or trying to attract someone and you are in a relationship meaning you have already attracted someone then I think from the beginning IT’S CHEATING!!!! It may be harmless cheating, or it may be an acceptable form of cheating, but isn’t it still cheating? So maybe the real question should be, is this type of cheating a deal breaker…..