Welcome  ChixxChat

Often times I hear people say, "I need to lose weight," "I wish I was pretty like her," "I wish my hair was long," "I wish my curls were defined like hers," "If my stomach was flatter, I would be the bomb," "If my waist was smaller and butt was larger, or if I had a larger chest, I'd be more attractive," "If I was lighter he/she would notice me." So many "if's" and wanting to change who we are to be accepted, seen, noticed or more desirable, but by whose standards? Who said a size 22 was less attractive than a size 2? Who said lighter skin is more beautiful than darker skin? Who said a flatter stomach versus something to hold on to was better? Who said longer hair and clearer skin was necessary? Who said? Who told you that? Wanting to change because you want to is one thing and totally your choice but wanting to change because you feel you don't fit the bill is another. Who set the standards of what we should look like? We look at television and aspire to be what we see but don't realize that what we see isn't always joy. Sometimes the people we see on television are changing, fasting, dieting, installing weaves, bleaching their skin, staying in the gym day in and day out because "we/society" have set unrealistic standards. We make them feel that we don't want to see them or support them if they don't fit the image we have convinced one another is the "right" image. At the same time we are starving ourselves, going into debt to keep up with the latest fashions, fooling ourselves that we have to look like them in order to be somebody, but nobody stops to realize if they are trying to please us and we are trying to mimic them, is any of it really necessary. Know that someone is in love and will only be attracted to that man or woman with meat on their bones. Someone will only be attracted to that small and petite man or woman that focuses on health, being tone and staying small. Someone will only be attracted to long hair, Mohawks, dreads, beards and extensions, while someone else will prefer the short hair, the clean shaven, the natural look and the tapers. While someone will be attracted to the lighter skinned people, someone else will be attracted to the darker tones, someone else will be attracted to the tanned and someone will be attracted to the pale. If you can't love and accept the skin you’re in REGARDLESS of its shape and size nobody else will be able to fully do so. Yes someone can see your inner beauty and seek to love you through your insecurities but until you learn to love yourself you won't even be able to really know what love is and how to accept it. You should wake up and admire who you are and how you look. It's okay to enhance yourself because of a choice but not because you have convinced yourself that without it you aren't enough, without it you aren’t beautiful, without it you won’t be noticed. Know that you are custom made; you aren't a "one size fit all." Know that you are beautiful and what you have to offer is enough. Know that if it doesn't fit for some it will always fit for at least one and that one is you. Love the skin that you're in because it's yours and only yours and it's simply beautiful.