Welcome  ChixxChat

So often growing up I've heard "Be Quiet". "Don't question God." "Don't talk during the movie." "Stay out of this conversation." "Stay out of grown folks business"...... and the list goes on. What if this was the beginning of us being groomed to keeping our mouth shut when we should be speaking? What if this was a systematic way to get us to just follow the lead and not be a leader? What if this was the enemy way to get us to fall into the trap of religion and not relationship? What if this was unknowingly the enemy's way to get our ancestors into slavery. When we come in this world we are ignorant of love, hate, knowledge, emotions, thoughts, habits, right from wrong and so forth. Yes we have basic instincts like feelings, touch, sight, hearing and taste, but we don't know what any of that means until we are taught. Touching the hot stove teaches us “ouch that burns.” Tasting something that’s bitter teaches us to react in a “that’s awful look” or no longer eat it. Looking at something scary teaches us to cover our eyes or not to watch that anymore. Hearing derogatory things about another race or ethnicity teaches us prejudice and racism. What if a child was reprimanded every time it cried? Eventually they stop crying…. how would we know if they were hungry, wet, sleepy or just needed love? What if we continue to believe we couldn't question God, how would He ever be able to answer with "yes, no or wait?" How can marriages or relationships survive if we continue to say "I'm not going to say anything," or "I'm tired of repeating myself," or "He/She will handle it?" If you don't say it are they supposed to be mind-readers? If you don't repeat it and they didn't get a full understanding the 1st or 100th it was said, then who suffers you because obviously what you need or are asking for still isn't done or them because they are doing/saying the same things that they deemed okay in the first place? If both of you is thinking the other person will take care of it without communicating that, then it never gets taken care of. If you don't ask clarification questions or if you don't speak up then you are speaking louder than you think and the one thing you're saying is "It's OKAY!" It's okay to not be a priority, it's okay to continue on and not understand, it's okay to be mistreated, it's okay to settle for less, it's okay that you make me feel like I don't matter as much, it’s okay that what’s needed never gets taken care of, it’s okay that I’m suffering. Truth is, it's NOT OKAY. It's not okay to suffer in silence. It's not okay to dilute who you are for the satisfaction of someone else. It's not okay to be overlooked. It's not okay to be silenced. It’s not okay to not reach your full potential. It’s not okay to watch your relationship suffer. It’s just not okay. Where is your voice? What happened to your sound? Did you say it in a tone where it could be understood or received? Are you whispering? Can they hear you? I used to tell my kids when they were coming up, all you have to do is ask, the worst case scenario is that you'll be in the same position you're in now but the best case is that you are heard and you get what you want. At the end of the day Closed mouths don't get fed.........Open your mouth!